Well. My cousin is going into the Air Force; he leaves Sunday for MEP and Basic. He's 18. There was a potluck tonight at my uncle's place (his grandfather). I've been wanting to spend more time with my family, so we went. It was a lot of fun; I always enjoy spending time with my cousins. I just haven't done it much in years.
Family is so important. Unfortunately, my dad's generation had some problems among the siblings, so we didn't all spend as much time together as we should have. I haven't spoken to my other aunt's kids in a really long time. Of course, it doesn't help that I am way younger than any of them.
Anyway, it was nice to hang out with my cousins. I'd really like to go see my brother and sister (in law) and my nephews. But they live in MoVal and I live in Coalville. I barely have the energy to take care of my daughter after work and on Saturday. How do I manage to find the time and energy to visit family? What about friends, especially those I consider family? At some point in the past, I suggested to someone that maybe I should schedule visits. They said that didn't seem like a very... I don't remember exactly... loving, I suppose, thing to do. Like it would make them feel like a business obligation or something.
Here's the problem: If we don't schedule it, it's not going to happen. My daughter is only ten months old, and life is so busy we ain't got time for nuttin'. Between my work schedule, my wife's work schedule, church, and that pesky sleep thing, the only thing we seem to have time for is vegetating on the couch with the help of our laptops and cable TV.
So, my family and friends, know that I want to connect with you and spend time with you. Please don't be offended if I ask to schedule some time with you (I'm seriously considering trying it). Perhaps this will inspire some more of you to have conversations with your family...
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Where is my Christianity -- really?
So I was participating in an online discussion yesterday. (BTW what's going on with me starting stuff with "so"? Just sayin'.) Anyway, I commented, supporting the view of the originator and most of the commentors. I was reading further today, as it was an interesting discussion. Another friend had posted a comment to the effect that perhaps the originator's actions in posting were wrong, or at least misguided. He quoted a great deal of Scripture and Christian thinkers supporting his point. His words made me question my own response, which in turn makes me question my entire Christian perspective.
Actually, that questioning is not new. This event just added to it. I look at my thoughts, actions, and reactions and wonder where I really am as a Christian. My thoughts and so on tend to fall into the category of "humanly" (to coin a term) rather than "Godly". And so I wonder. If my own personal life - my inner self - is not truly reflecting Christ, should I be attempting to teach others to do that which I do not do myself? I realize that even Paul struggled with this concept, but Acts records that more often than not, his true self was Godly, not humanly.
Am I a hypocrite when I teach? Does the simple act of standing in front of a group of people, sharing with them a Word I am not steeped in, teaching them about living for God, make me appear to have it all together? To be well-versed in these things and successful in all that I attempt, at least as far as living a Christ-like life goes? I think people automatically assume (not always correctly) that someone who is preaching has it all together, is living the way s/he should, has a fantastic walk with God, etc. etc. ad infinitum ad nauseum. So when those of us who do stand up to preach don't have it all together, aren't living the way we should, etc., are we violating those expectations? And if we are, do we do more harm than good?
On the other hand, God uses flawed vessels, the weak, and the imperfect. He deliberately chooses those who are not the best and brightest (don't believe me? Look at the disciples, who they were, how they acted, their personalities. Look at Paul, and Moses, and Abram/Abraham, and ...) to be His spokespersons. But don't we have an obligation to improve? To seek to live our lives in a way that brings glory to Him? Jesus calls all of us to be a light in the world, to be visibly His followers. I realize I am only human, and perfection, while I should seek it, is not attainable in this life.
I truly feel God has called me to teach and preach the Word, to interpret and make known what the Spirit has to say. But my attitude has to change. My actions have to change. I am not by any means qualified to teach, preach, interpret, or, really, even advise. But because He has called me, I will continue to do so.
By continuing to be in front of others, continuing to teach and preach, am I endangering others? Here's my final (for now) conclusion. It is fine for me to be in front of others, doing these things, attempting to help them learn who they are and Whose they are. That is, as long as I am aware I am far, far from perfect. As long as I don't pretend that I am an example of what to do as opposed to what not to do. On the other hand, I need to work harder at becoming the man God created me to be. I must make the changes that need to be made so that I can truly say, "Yes, you can do it. See? Even I did it."
So where is my Christianity? Really? My Christianity is on the journey. It is reflected in being open to the Lord's gentle nudging that I need to improve. It is in learning to be quiet and listen, to not be so hasty to judge or to share an opinion. I have much to learn and a long road to travel. But I am not alone in the classroom of life nor lonely upon the road, for even if none travel with me, I know that God is there every step of the way. That's where my Christianity is.
Actually, that questioning is not new. This event just added to it. I look at my thoughts, actions, and reactions and wonder where I really am as a Christian. My thoughts and so on tend to fall into the category of "humanly" (to coin a term) rather than "Godly". And so I wonder. If my own personal life - my inner self - is not truly reflecting Christ, should I be attempting to teach others to do that which I do not do myself? I realize that even Paul struggled with this concept, but Acts records that more often than not, his true self was Godly, not humanly.
Am I a hypocrite when I teach? Does the simple act of standing in front of a group of people, sharing with them a Word I am not steeped in, teaching them about living for God, make me appear to have it all together? To be well-versed in these things and successful in all that I attempt, at least as far as living a Christ-like life goes? I think people automatically assume (not always correctly) that someone who is preaching has it all together, is living the way s/he should, has a fantastic walk with God, etc. etc. ad infinitum ad nauseum. So when those of us who do stand up to preach don't have it all together, aren't living the way we should, etc., are we violating those expectations? And if we are, do we do more harm than good?
On the other hand, God uses flawed vessels, the weak, and the imperfect. He deliberately chooses those who are not the best and brightest (don't believe me? Look at the disciples, who they were, how they acted, their personalities. Look at Paul, and Moses, and Abram/Abraham, and ...) to be His spokespersons. But don't we have an obligation to improve? To seek to live our lives in a way that brings glory to Him? Jesus calls all of us to be a light in the world, to be visibly His followers. I realize I am only human, and perfection, while I should seek it, is not attainable in this life.
I truly feel God has called me to teach and preach the Word, to interpret and make known what the Spirit has to say. But my attitude has to change. My actions have to change. I am not by any means qualified to teach, preach, interpret, or, really, even advise. But because He has called me, I will continue to do so.
By continuing to be in front of others, continuing to teach and preach, am I endangering others? Here's my final (for now) conclusion. It is fine for me to be in front of others, doing these things, attempting to help them learn who they are and Whose they are. That is, as long as I am aware I am far, far from perfect. As long as I don't pretend that I am an example of what to do as opposed to what not to do. On the other hand, I need to work harder at becoming the man God created me to be. I must make the changes that need to be made so that I can truly say, "Yes, you can do it. See? Even I did it."
So where is my Christianity? Really? My Christianity is on the journey. It is reflected in being open to the Lord's gentle nudging that I need to improve. It is in learning to be quiet and listen, to not be so hasty to judge or to share an opinion. I have much to learn and a long road to travel. But I am not alone in the classroom of life nor lonely upon the road, for even if none travel with me, I know that God is there every step of the way. That's where my Christianity is.
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